My Spunky Sister-Megan!

I haven't posted...well, in years...but wanted to post my sister on Kelly's Korner....in hopes of helping her find God's perfect provision for her. Eharmony worked for me...so who's to say this won't work either. :)

Megan is 35 and works in Los Colinas, Texas at a computer networking company. I couldn't explain what it is she actually does...but it sounds quite technical. She is smart, funny, and beautiful!

She has been at this job for 10+ years now and loves the Dallas Area. She usually attends the Village Church (Matt Chandler's church) and loves Jesus. She grew up in a Christian home and following Jesus is just a part of who she is. She is very close to her family---she is one of my best friends! I really don't know what I would do with her in my life.

Megan is a marathoner. I don't remember how many marathons and/or half-marathons she has finished. She works hard at the sport and staying fit.

Megan has a sweet, compassionate heart. She is outgoing and fun to be around. She lots of fun girlfriends around her to celebrate life.

Behind Jesus and family....Megan probably loves her dog, Lucy, the most. Lucy is a spoiled, crazy-friendly, precious, little dauchsand who LOVES Megan. You can often find them playing at the dog park.

I'm constantly praying that God will bring the perfect man in her life. If anyone is interested in contacting her or have any questions about her please just leave me a comment or email me at roeads@yahoo.com and I'll get back with you asap.

Long Time No Blog

So sorry I've been MIA for almost a year! No great excuses, just life happening all around me. I'm sure you understand. Forgive the stream-of-consciousness of this entry. It's random at best.

I am three days away from finishing my first year back to teaching. It has been such a learning experience. Not only have I learned tons about Geometry and the melting pot of students and their issues at my campus, but I have grown so thankful for my job. The campus I am on is far from a typical middle-class, white population. We have both extremes and every combination in between. It has challenged me in so many ways.

God has been gracious to me in that he has provided a fun group of friends for me at school. This is probably been the most encouraging thing for my coming from Tascosa High. I have felt accepted and cared for all year...and I'm still amazed at how quickly they let me into their "group". Yes, apparently cliques exist as adults. Regardless, my need for belonging has been met at school. The women I get to hang out with at school are not at all like my Crusade co-workers. Oh my, not at all. It often boggles my mind how different my "circle of friends" is now compared to a mere year ago. So, yeah, it is my mission field. How well am I doing with plowing this field? um, well, uh....it is tough ground. Some of them are protestant believers, some catholic, some -I'm just not sure. We don't talk about faith much...sometimes politics, but Jesus doesn't really come up much.

It is almost like I'm reinventing myself. I went from professional Christian to almost "closet" Christian. So weird. I'm learning how to be confident and verbal about my faith but it is such a slow process it seems. It is much harder than I thought it would be....hard to seperate myself from the gossip and negative conversations.

Blah blah blah....I digress. School is only part of my life. My "professional" life. Then I come home to my family. I love my new family. It has been a difficult year in so many ways. I'm glad our one year anniversary is next week. It is a milestone and I'm glad to have the first year of this learning curve behind me. Don't get me wrong....I love being married..and Mark is the perfect man for me....(so much I could say here...) There is so much I have not figured out yet....who knows if I ever will. I'm learning who Kyler and Addison need in a momma. I'm learning who Mark needs in his wife. I'm learning who Andrea's family needs me to be. I'm learning...slowly....but learning...how to walk with Jesus as a wife and mom.

It's funny, in a way, that I have this internal dread of the upcoming summer months. Yes, I am glad to be out of the classroom for a while, but, if I'm honest, the summer is tough. I'm not totally sure how I did it last summer. I think I was in survival mode...now I'm trying to thrive. So, since I love to plan, I have this great idea that if I plan our summer out (not completely) there will be less unstructured aka "makin-mama-crazy-time". Mark has been a huge blessing to me in this category. He has a degree in childhood development...so he know how to motivate kids and keep them buys. He and I have come up with chores for each of the kids to do this summer....which they will do for an allowance. If they do well with this we've promised to get a puppy in July. How's that for motivation?!! My husband is a genius. I love him.

So, I have a few goals for myself this summer. Hopefully, I'm being realistic. Check in with me in a couple months. I desperately need Godly accountability....

So, here are my goals:

1. Establish habitual times with Jesus...whatever that might look like.

2. Paint/redecorate Kyler's room

3. Pursue relationships with women at church.

4. Make (or at least start) Kyler and Addison's scrapbooks.

5. Take pictures

6. Loose weight

So, here we go....

Summertime in Amarillo

Thanks so much for praying for me. I can really tell. I do feel like my stamina is growing for mommyhood. But, invariably, just when I think I can handle this I have a meaningless argument with a 7-year old that leaves me in tears or maybe tears for no good reason. So funny when I step back and think about it.

This summer has been a blessing. I really am grateful for the time with the kids. We are really having fun most of the time. I can see why being a mom-especially in the summertime- can be so difficult. So much pressure to get the kids physical activity …but so stinkin hot outside! What to do??!! Luckily, we do have a really nice pool in town that the kids love to go to. For the first few times I went I wouldn’t go in the pool with the kids. I’ve decided that some of the moms in this city never eat. Or maybe they live at the gym. How the heck to they have so many children AND six-pack abs??!!! So wrong. Then there are other moms more like me….which helps me feel validated. Somehow I’ve gotten over my issues of being seen in a swimsuit in public and have decided to get in the pool with the kids. Addison especially loves it because she can get in the deep end with me. I do love taking them to the pool simply because it wears them out…and they get some great exercise. So, we’re heading to the pool this afternoon.

Several folks have asked if the kids call me “mom” yet. No, not yet, at least to my face. I’ve heard Kyler refer to me as mom to other people…and I know he wants to call me mom….but hasn’t yet to my face. Addison will take longer I think. She does have lots of memories of her mom…and Andrea made two photo books for each of the kids with lots of pictures of her with them in it. I’m grateful for those books. Addison especially loves hers and often says “I want mama back.” In spite of all this…she did call me mama in one extraordinarily nostalgic moment a few weeks ago. She said “mama, there’s a dead roach!!” (just fyi…We had just had the exterminator come out and spray…so dead bugs were not uncommon.) Somehow, I imagined the first time she’d call me mama would be this really sweet, tender moment…..not one surrounding dead things!! J made me laugh, though!

I am learning how to weave in time with Jesus now. I’m desperate for it. I’m so far behind in my reading its embarrassing…but I’m working on catching up. Journaling, well, that’s my next step…finding time to do that consistently. I know my heart needs it. Lordwilling, it will come in time.

We did finally get the living room painted and my stuff on the walls. I still have a box of pictures to go through of the kids and put into photo albums. Not sure when this will happen since I’m not a scrapbooker at all anymore. Slowly, the house is feeling like home. Amarillo is a great little town too. It definitely has its plusses. I mean, where else can you get your name changed on your social security card, drivers license, and open a new checking account all within an hour and a half?? Seriously we did it that fast. Such a blessing! It is a nice place to live, however, I hope I never get used the crisp smell of cow manure wafting from Hereford at dusk and dawn each day. Lord help me.

Not in Kansas Anymore

Being married is so fun….so is being a mom. I love both…but wow..the changes. Let’s just say I’ve cried a lot over the last month….not because I’m unhappy…just sad and unfamiliar in this new territory. I knew this stage was coming….and even thought I’d “braced” myself for it…but I don’t think you can really prepare yourself for all this.

I have been overwhelmed a lot. Cooking. Laundry. Cleaning up after four people is MUCH more than for just one…who knew?! Probably the hardest part has been adjusting to not being completely in control of my time. Since I’m home with kids this summer…trying to “work”…I’m finding that I just can’t get as much done as I could when I was single. (I know, I know…there’s a big DUH out there for me.) In the past when I’ve moved I got all the moving in done asap. I’m STILL sitting in our living room next to boxes of stuff I don’t want to put up until we paint. It makes me anxious…and I know it bugs Mark too. I’m conflicted too because as I take things off the wall---most of which are pictures of the kids---I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Mark assures me he is fine with it…and I am going to keep all the pictures for the kids. I am becoming more and more acquainted with my sensitivities…hence the frequent crying. Poor Mark. I hold it together all day as I feel like I have to be “on” for the kids…then fall apart in the evenings when he’s there to focus on the kids.

OH yeah…did I mention my computer has been Satan’s playground for three weeks? So, I’ve been virtually worthless to Crusade which I feel horrible about. After weeks of conversations with dell techs and Crusade techs….i think I’m back to normal. Only losses are my itunes and pictures…but in the grand scheme of things…I’m over by now. Granted…I was uber frustrated in the moment. So, on top of the super slow moving in process….I’ve been super unproductive on the work front too. Ugh.

The ironic part of all this is that the Lord gave me a “rule of life” a few months ago as my community group was studying spiritual disciplines. As I prayed and focused on what I felt like the Lord wanted for me….it came down very simply.

What do I want to be true of me? Grateful. Generous. Graceful.

I remember some friends commenting on how that rule will be a gift to me as I enter this marriage/stage of life. The few moments I do sit down and listen to the Lord these days, this rings so true. If only I can remember to give myself grace in this stage. You can pray that I can do this… learn how to set reachable goals for myself. I don’t know if that makes sense….but Mark is so great about encouraging me and affirming me through this process.

The Lord has given me some sweet-but new- friends…who are amazingly initiating with me consistently. Huge gift. Unbeleiveable small group-we all love Jesus and have the same sense of humor. I can’t say enough about them.
I do feel like I’m babbling at this point. So sorry. Just wanted to give you a snapshot into my life/heart at this stage. I do love being here. I love my husband and kiddos. They are super great I am just on the steepest learning curve of my life …so I covet your prayers. Here’s where the babbling will end. Thanks for reading this far and for your prayers. I’d love to hear from you! ….

The Wedding Gift

This past Friday I accepted a job at Tascosa High School.....go rebels!

I'll be teaching Algebra 2 to juniors! So fun! I spoke with the head of the math department for a while about why Algebra 2??? I honestly was worried about having been out of the classroom for 10 years and how much studying would I have to do to teach this? She was very comforting and communicated great faith in me. She said that their department plans together so I'll never feel alone in trying to figure how to teach something. After hearing her thought process on the assignment, I felt really comforted and felt like it would be a great fit and that she was really seeking to set me up for success. She also said "one day, Robyn, I'll tell you the story of how much of an answer to prayer you are to me". More confirmation.

So, the funniest and surprising part is that I will also be one of three cheerleader sponsors. Ha! So not at cheerleader...but it came with the job and a super small stipend. The more it think about this the more I see it as having a discipleship group assigned to me. So fun! I am excited about being in their lives and, Lordwilling, influencing them for Christ. Mark is really excited about it to...he loves attending sporting events and he said the kids would really enjoy it too...especially Addison who has a fetish for cheerleaders already. Great family bonding ahead! Mark is already talking about getting her a Tascosa cheerleading outfit. Hilarious.

The school is about three miles from our home....Kyler will be in school adn Addison will be in all-day pre-k. We'll be busy when school starts, but it is all a blessing.

I do feel like this assignment is from the Lord in so many ways. It is a gift that I have a job before the wedding. One less thing to be anxious about. Thank you Jesus!

Engagement!!

Hey friends…

Just wanted to let you guys know Mark proposed this weekend while I was in Amarillo.

It was a great time with the kids and being on his turf. Lots of information to take in all at once….meeting Addison (3 yr old daughter), seeing his house for the first time, getting to know Amarillo, met his church friends, etc. oh yeah, and a good ‘ole ice storm. Woohoo!

No, the weekend went really well. Addison was a little leery of me initially but after a few hours and reading a few books to her….no problems. I enjoyed getting to spend time with her. It was definitely different being a family with them. So different…I suppose it will get better and easier with time.

Saturday Mark took us all to the Nutcracker in downtown Amarillo. It was really well done. The kids loved it. Seeing the nutcracker with a 3 yr old on your lap makes it so much more entertaining. I was really impressed with the kids and their attention span during the show. Needless to say, they were exhausted by the time we went to dinner and headed home afterward.

After the kids were fast asleep Mark and I were watching tv and he began to talk about the snowmen figurines on the window sill. There were several of them and they had “special” meaning to Andrea, Mark’s former wife. (Later, I found out this was all made up). He said there was a snowman just for me…uniquely for me on the sill and that I needed to go and figure out what it was. Me, being the logical rule-follower that I am..looked only at the snowmen on the sill. Mark stood back and laughed at me and kept saying “it’s so obvious!”. Because I was just following the directions to look at snowmen….i had overlooked a silver jewelry box right in the middle. I guess I just thought it was part of Andrea’s collection somehow…but out of desperation in this little game I picked it up. It was engraved to me: “Robyn, I love the way you love me! Mark”…really sweet and romantic…

Then I opened the box and found a silver rhinestone-studded fortune cookie. Yes, I said fortune cookie. Ultimate in randomness. I open the cookie and found a little engraved fortune that says “will you marry me?”. I look up and Mark is on his knee with the ring…and he asks me himself. I said yes!!

Now, what you don’t know is that I found all the gushy romance a little much throughout our relationship... and Mark knew it. He also knows that I don’t really like figurines and little sentimental stuff. I’m a purger at heart. He knows all this….so he knew I was cringing the whole time as the gifts kept a’comin. I didn’t want to spoil his efforts and really wanted to relish the time…so I didn’t say anything. About 30 minutes later Mark tells me that the whole thing was planned to make me cringe and to create a little joke between us as he knew I would never be able to purge these gifts. Now, I’m laughing out loud. So funny. He did a great job!

Oh yeah, the ring is amazing. Perfect…I love it. Wish I could get a decent picture to post …but it just hasn’t happened yet.

Thanks for celebrating with us!

Save the date--- June 1, 2008…the wedding will be in North Richland Hills, Texas. More info to come.

Love you guys!

My Mark

Hey all…

I’ve been encouraged by several of you to update everyone on the happenings in my life since the summer. Thanks again for walking with me through the summer and praying for me. I’m sure you’ll be encouraged as I have been with how the Lord has worked since then. No, this stuff isn’t on my blog yet….not much has happened there in a while…oh well.

As you may remember, mid summer I shut down all my online dating profiles mid-summer and took at break from the online scene. It was good for my heart. When I got home during the first week of August eharmony sent me new matches. I didn’t bother to look at them...because I was “done”. One decided to initiate with me...(basically said they are interested and wanted to communicate with me)which is rare…so I gave him the courtesy of looking at his profile. Few strikes against him from the get-go. #1 no picture….#2 atrocious spelling and #3 Lives in Amarillo. Not a good start. I was delighted to see that he loved football—especially the Texas Longhorns. I like that he was masculine and apparently 6’2”….and there was just something that endeared him to me…can’t explain it.

Well, since I had closed my account with eharmony I could see my matches but could not communicate with them unless I paid up again for another month or something. In light of the necessary additional financial investment required and my past experiences online I prayed/hesitated for a few days. Although I was fearful of yet another rejection I paid my pennies to communicate with this guy- Mark- hoping he wouldn’t shut it down immediately.

Well, long story short. We’ve been dating since August...yes, I said dating….and I’m not wetting my pants anymore from excitement!!! Go ahead….I know….I never thought it would happen either.

More about my Mark---

Widowed- wife passed away from Leukemia at 31. He is 37.

Two kids—Kyler (boy) 7, and Addison 3.

He’s been to Austin twice for real dates…but we have daily phone dates. He has been so easy to get to know and he has clearly pursued me and the Lord in our relationship. He doesn’t let me wig out about the future but always reminds me that the Lord is bigger than whatever obstacle is ahead. I have met Kyler…he came with Mark last time he was in Austin. He’s a great kid…so cute and sweet. Apparently he likes me too….he called me Halloween night to tell me all about his ninja costume and his “girlfriend”. So so cute. I have not met Addison yet…but will the first week of December when I go to Amarillo for the first time.

Mark works for the state with Child Protective Services….he’s been with them for a while in a variety of roles. He has some crazy stories. He as such a soft, caring heart for kids; he is very kind but strong with folks when he needs to be. Seems, to me anyway, that he has really healthy boundaries….and has dealt with the death of his wife very well. He’s shared with me about how he walked through the grieving process and continues to do so. He is very open with me. All I know is that he has walked through more hard doses of life at 37 than most of us will in a lifetime…and is loving Jesus…and very joyful. I really admire him for his attitude.

I could go on and on……I really love him. He loves me really well too…never thought I’d share this kind of relationship with a man.

Yes, love him. I said it…and he knows it too. He is coming to meet my family after Thanksgiving and I’ll be meeting his just after Christmas. So, as you can imagine…we are talking about a future together.

FAQs:

1. Would you move to Amarillo? Yes, I will. It just makes the most sense. The kids and Mark’s community and roots are there….I’m much more portable than they are. I want the best for the kids emotionally as they get used to me being in their life.
2. Stay on staff? Possibly/probably- we’ll see how my support raising goes… and, I’d have to be approved for an exception. I would like to simply because it would help me transition. I flip out a little when I think of all that will change for me…and my identity as I’ve known it. To stay w/CCC in a different admin role (not conferences) will allow me to keep CCC relationships and identity for a season at least. The Lord is in control
3. When would you get married? Don’t know yet. We want to wait and see how the kids are when we’re all together…and don’t want to force them into anything they are not ready for at this point. We’re waiting on the Lord to give us the green light.

Thanks for praying for me and for your continued prayers for our relationship and the kids. (so crazy to even type this)

I love you guys…thanks for letting me gush and share.