Being married is so fun….so is being a mom. I love both…but wow..the changes. Let’s just say I’ve cried a lot over the last month….not because I’m unhappy…just sad and unfamiliar in this new territory. I knew this stage was coming….and even thought I’d “braced” myself for it…but I don’t think you can really prepare yourself for all this.
I have been overwhelmed a lot. Cooking. Laundry. Cleaning up after four people is MUCH more than for just one…who knew?! Probably the hardest part has been adjusting to not being completely in control of my time. Since I’m home with kids this summer…trying to “work”…I’m finding that I just can’t get as much done as I could when I was single. (I know, I know…there’s a big DUH out there for me.) In the past when I’ve moved I got all the moving in done asap. I’m STILL sitting in our living room next to boxes of stuff I don’t want to put up until we paint. It makes me anxious…and I know it bugs Mark too. I’m conflicted too because as I take things off the wall---most of which are pictures of the kids---I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Mark assures me he is fine with it…and I am going to keep all the pictures for the kids. I am becoming more and more acquainted with my sensitivities…hence the frequent crying. Poor Mark. I hold it together all day as I feel like I have to be “on” for the kids…then fall apart in the evenings when he’s there to focus on the kids.
OH yeah…did I mention my computer has been Satan’s playground for three weeks? So, I’ve been virtually worthless to Crusade which I feel horrible about. After weeks of conversations with dell techs and Crusade techs….i think I’m back to normal. Only losses are my itunes and pictures…but in the grand scheme of things…I’m over by now. Granted…I was uber frustrated in the moment. So, on top of the super slow moving in process….I’ve been super unproductive on the work front too. Ugh.
The ironic part of all this is that the Lord gave me a “rule of life” a few months ago as my community group was studying spiritual disciplines. As I prayed and focused on what I felt like the Lord wanted for me….it came down very simply.
What do I want to be true of me? Grateful. Generous. Graceful.
I remember some friends commenting on how that rule will be a gift to me as I enter this marriage/stage of life. The few moments I do sit down and listen to the Lord these days, this rings so true. If only I can remember to give myself grace in this stage. You can pray that I can do this… learn how to set reachable goals for myself. I don’t know if that makes sense….but Mark is so great about encouraging me and affirming me through this process.
The Lord has given me some sweet-but new- friends…who are amazingly initiating with me consistently. Huge gift. Unbeleiveable small group-we all love Jesus and have the same sense of humor. I can’t say enough about them.
I do feel like I’m babbling at this point. So sorry. Just wanted to give you a snapshot into my life/heart at this stage. I do love being here. I love my husband and kiddos. They are super great I am just on the steepest learning curve of my life …so I covet your prayers. Here’s where the babbling will end. Thanks for reading this far and for your prayers. I’d love to hear from you! ….
I have been overwhelmed a lot. Cooking. Laundry. Cleaning up after four people is MUCH more than for just one…who knew?! Probably the hardest part has been adjusting to not being completely in control of my time. Since I’m home with kids this summer…trying to “work”…I’m finding that I just can’t get as much done as I could when I was single. (I know, I know…there’s a big DUH out there for me.) In the past when I’ve moved I got all the moving in done asap. I’m STILL sitting in our living room next to boxes of stuff I don’t want to put up until we paint. It makes me anxious…and I know it bugs Mark too. I’m conflicted too because as I take things off the wall---most of which are pictures of the kids---I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Mark assures me he is fine with it…and I am going to keep all the pictures for the kids. I am becoming more and more acquainted with my sensitivities…hence the frequent crying. Poor Mark. I hold it together all day as I feel like I have to be “on” for the kids…then fall apart in the evenings when he’s there to focus on the kids.
OH yeah…did I mention my computer has been Satan’s playground for three weeks? So, I’ve been virtually worthless to Crusade which I feel horrible about. After weeks of conversations with dell techs and Crusade techs….i think I’m back to normal. Only losses are my itunes and pictures…but in the grand scheme of things…I’m over by now. Granted…I was uber frustrated in the moment. So, on top of the super slow moving in process….I’ve been super unproductive on the work front too. Ugh.
The ironic part of all this is that the Lord gave me a “rule of life” a few months ago as my community group was studying spiritual disciplines. As I prayed and focused on what I felt like the Lord wanted for me….it came down very simply.
What do I want to be true of me? Grateful. Generous. Graceful.
I remember some friends commenting on how that rule will be a gift to me as I enter this marriage/stage of life. The few moments I do sit down and listen to the Lord these days, this rings so true. If only I can remember to give myself grace in this stage. You can pray that I can do this… learn how to set reachable goals for myself. I don’t know if that makes sense….but Mark is so great about encouraging me and affirming me through this process.
The Lord has given me some sweet-but new- friends…who are amazingly initiating with me consistently. Huge gift. Unbeleiveable small group-we all love Jesus and have the same sense of humor. I can’t say enough about them.
I do feel like I’m babbling at this point. So sorry. Just wanted to give you a snapshot into my life/heart at this stage. I do love being here. I love my husband and kiddos. They are super great I am just on the steepest learning curve of my life …so I covet your prayers. Here’s where the babbling will end. Thanks for reading this far and for your prayers. I’d love to hear from you! ….
6 comments:
wow robyn! Sounds like God is stretching you and molding you daily!! I am so excited that God has put you in the Dobbs Family. I know there are roller coasters ahead and the one you're on isn't over yet, but I do know who is operating the coaster and he is one experienced dude. haha. I sound silly, but I know that balance, peace and comfort are all on the way! Just keep holding on!! You're doing great! I didn't get a chance to say hi to you guys on sunday, so HIIII! Love y'all.
Shaina
Father, Thank You for Robyn's honesty and her heart to love and serve You and others. Please grant her grace and patience with herself and others during this time. Thank You for being the Constant in this time of change. Knit this family's hearts together and make them strong for Your glory. Please comfort and encourage Robyn. May she lean on you and not her own understanding. For the glory of Your name!
Robyn, I will be praying for you. Glad you shared your heart. Congratulations and love!
jamie
WOW!!! a husband and kiddos. So happy for you, you are missed, by us at least. love you- the conlyz
Robyn! Thanks for your vulnerability! Lots of changes! wow! I appreciate your sense of humor in the midst of all of that.. your gracious spirit continues to be evident! Praying for you as you adjust to your new life!!!
hey friend! email me anytime about crazy conversations with 7 year olds. they can definitely leave you in tears feeling like the most horrible inadequate mom in the world. My kid is a pro at sucking me in to the dumbest "arguments" and it can be quite frustrating. your outlook on it is refreshing to me. i've been bogged down in mommyhood for 7 years and i love your perspective. eva will be starting preschool as well in the fall - it's like we're leading parallel lives....except for the teaching algebra 2 part. NO THANKS! i'll be praying for you!
I read this with tears in my eyes! Give yourself tons of grace...you are in a MAJOR transition with having 2 kids now and a house and husband...I can't imagine the strain you are under! Will pray for you that you will experience His Rest and Kindness towards you during all this change.
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