July 6. 2007
Last weekend I felt like my heart turned the corner and began to walk in some hope again. I even got out Sunday night and played games with folks …it was really fun and I found it to be life-giving. I know I mentioned that I was participating in social stuff by faith. One thing I did last weekend was speed dating. Yes, speed dating. As you would expect there were half as many guys than girls…but still fun. I had the opportunity to meet three guys I didn’t previously know. Didn’t meet anyone that swept me off my feet if you know what I mean…but it was good practice none the less.
After many days and hours of being Debbie Downer in the man category- feeling as if I'd never meet anyone. I decide to get back to work and then maybe 20 minutes later…this guy I met speed dating comes to the office and out of nowhere- in front of part of my team- asks me out for coffee. I was in shock. A date??? What??? Me??? Unbelievable kindness from the Lord. So precious to me.
What else…..it has been a good week in a lot of ways. I’m beginning to understand even more about the condition of my heart this summer. I did another personality test dealio. I discovered that I have a high desire/need for harmony and when work and/or home is not harmonious I wear down more than others. Things at work and at home have been difficult this past year…so no wonder my heart has been in survival mode for so long…and struggling through depression. I love my happy pills. It is nice to understand how I got here …and to trust Jesus to lead me through a season of healing and rest.
I am giving a devotional to our staff conference team on Monday. We’ve been challenged to be vulnerable about what God is teaching me personally. I feel pretty scattered and moody this summer…and I’m not sure how to communicate what He’s teaching me…and furthermore, how will it relate to my audience. I am praying that my concern will not be what others think of me…but that others would be pointed to Jesus as a result. So, in addition to however the Lord leads…you can pray for me as I prepare the devo.
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